Check Yo' Self Before Yo' Wreck Yo' Self
Picture a vintage glass trinket box sitting in the palm of your hands, perfectly clear and illuminated by a soft light from within. There is no hiding what is inside a transparent box; everything is completely exposed to the light.
That clear box is a beautiful picture of what our intentions should look like when we give or serve others. But if we are being completely honest with ourselves, our motives are rarely that perfectly clear.
It’s a catchy, familiar line from a 90s Ice Cube rap song, but it carries a heavy, serious truth: “Check yo' self before yo' wreck yo' self.”
Usually, we think of that warning in terms of protecting our pride or avoiding a major outward mistake. But what if we applied it to our most noble actions? What if we applied it to our giving, our volunteering, and our serving?
If we aren't careful, doing the right things for the wrong reasons—whether it's seeking applause, easing our own guilt, or looking for validation—can quietly wreck the very grace of the gift we are trying to offer. Before we step out to do good today, we have to be willing to do the hard, quiet work of shining a light into our own hearts...
Why do I give? Why do I serve?
- Do we do it for the sake of attention, the sake of the spotlight shining brightly on us? 'Hey, Look at me! Look what I am doing!'
- Do we do it for approval? This is very similar with the intention of getting attention as mentioned above. You want attention from others so you can get their approval.
These are for the people pleasers, who want to please everyone. They want to be liked and approved by, and in good standing with everyone. It can really be exhausting because it is based on performance. Right? We have all been there at some time!
Collossians 3:22 "Slaves" [also referenced as an employee], obey your human masters in all things, not only when they are watching you because you want to gain their approval, but do it with a sincere heart because of your reverence for the Lord." Good News Translation Bible
3. Are we in competition? 'I gave more than you.' 'I am better than you.' 'They love me more than you.'
James 3:16 "Whenever you're trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others' throats." The Message Bible Destructive competitiveness and greed leads to comparison of others and you wanting what they have (coveting). It is also an obsession to promote one's self at the expense of others.
4. Am I giving as a payback or out of obligation? 'Well, she gave me a birthday gift. I should give her a gift.'
2 Corithians 9:7 "Let each one give [thoughtfully and with purpose] just as he has decided in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God so loves a cheerful giver [and delights in the one whose heart is in his gift]. Amplified Bible
The Message Bible says in the latter part of verse 7 "God loves it when the giver delights in the giving."
These stated motives are self-serving. Do I give out of love or out of a desire to be seen? 1 Corithians 13:5 Love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking... Awesome Marriage Ministry stated in their Bible Plan within the YouVersion Bible Application, titled The Me-Minded Marriage: A 3 Day Plan to Stop the Selfish Spiral, "True service doesn't flow for a need to protect our image, it flows from a heart aligned with God."
Our acts of giving and serving can also be in search for our own self-worth. You are looking for validation from others. That validation should only come from God. He is the ONLY one that we need validation from (I know, easier said than done.) Well, it turns into service based on fear because you are looking to others to feel secure, wanted, or enough. That keeps you in a merely survival mentality.
Our giving and service comes out of our identity that is rooted in Christ. Our performance does not make us worthy, because we already are!
Let giving and service be an act of worship to God, not a way to prove your worth!
Galations 5:13 "For you, my brothers, were called to freedom; only do not let your freedom become an opportunity for the sinful nature (worldliness, selfishness), but through love, serve and seek the best for one another." (Don't let your freedom wreck yourself so that's why you got to check yourself.) This verse describes love as the Greek word agape, explaining that love is not out of emotion but it is of doing things for the benefit of another person- having an unselfish concern for another and to be willing to seek and want the best for another.
Call to Action:
-Take Heart Inventory. When you give and/or serve others in which you should freely do, stop and ask yourself why, what are my intentions. We have to take inventory of our heart and soul.
-Reframe your perspective. Instead of saying, "I got to give Mom a better gift this year,", say "I am so thankful that Mom is still here in my life and I get another chance to show her in a tangible way just how much I love and appreciate her!"
-Give as an act of worship and gratitude to God. Also give as an act of gratitude to the gift receiver.
More Scriptures to reference:
Collossians 3:17 Good News Translation
1 Corithians 16:14 The Passion Translation, Amplified Version, Good News Translation, New International Version
Collossians 3:14 Amplified Version
"Check Yo' Self Before Yo' Wreck Yo' Self!"
